I love that on the coffee machine at work, it says "Pour ONLY water in here." As opposed to what- gasoline? kool-aid? What would happen if you did? And who is that warning for? What person, even on their first attempt, stands there thinking; "Hmmm I've got my coffee grounds in the filter, and the pot's ready... I guess the next step is to pour turkey gravy in this hole here- oh wait, water ONLY? Hmmm I guess the gravy is a no, then. Alright, water it is."

I can't believe I've made it through three summers at The H. In celebration of my survival, I get a party today! The title of "executive assistant" has treated me well for the past fourteen weeks, and I daresay I will miss it. I will miss the frigid temperatures of the Genesis Center tomb, watching water cascade down the inside walls in the back offices during rainstorms, and having to un-break the fax machine on a daily basis. I will also miss the frequent visits from dogs and children, free lunch thursdays, water cooler gossip, and being the golden child of 111 Conant Ave. It's been good, H-graeve, I tip my hat to you.

I will always remember this as the summer of weekends. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't have anything to show for it besides a sunburnt nose and an increased expertise in the scanning/shredding/faxing field. So cheers to Chicago, Millersburg, Gettysburg, San Francisco and Mackinaw for saving my summer from the depths of unprecedented boredom.

As good as Phantom of the Opera is, it's so much better when it's 2 am and Rob and I write our own lines.
"Gee, um, thanks for untying me, but- what the hell was that? Two kisses, Christine? TWO? I think one would have done the job."
"What? I'm sorry, I didn't think you'd mind-"
"Yeah, that's right, you DIDN'T think- just like when you went off to the cemetery by yourself, and that didn't end so well, did it? Maybe a little "thinking" now and then wouldn't be such a bad idea. Oh, and I hope while you were down in the basement all this time learning how to "sing", you also learned to sew, because my favorite shirt has a huge tear in it now, no thanks to you. Not to mention, this suit could use a good wash, now that it's been soaked with sewer water. And these shoes were BRAND NEW Doc Martens. DAMN IT ALL, CHRISTINE!"

It's all about the superior wit and guile. And, of course, our vicious rhetoric.